Hello, My Beloved Squidlies!
I am currently stuck in post-manuscript-completion-hell where my head is devoid of creativity and I’m picking up extra hours at work because I am a starving artist and I have bills to pay!
Honestly, I’ve been so worn out that not much blogging has come to mind. It’s mostly just quiet writing, Facebook, work, and reading. Boring right?
The short story that I promised is taking longer and may not be a short story at all. I may serialize it…maybe not. I don’t know, I’m open to suggestions.
But yeah, I work retail in a bookstore and if you think that’s glamorous, well it is…
You’re waiting for me to take it back aren’t you? The truth being I hate working at the bookstore for the retail aspect of it. You get people who don’t actually read come in to buy games, toys, and….let their children tear up the Toys&Games and Children’s section while their parent sit on their phones and text. You also have to answer questions about books you don’t know about and have the question asked “Why don’t you know anything about that book?! You work here!”
Yeah I work here, meaning I’m not reading.
Also there’s a strange demand for “you know that book by that author with x colored hair?”(no really this has happened to be at least three times).
BUT, that’s not what makes my job. It’s only about 20% of what I do…and 100% of what normally you would hear me complain about…
Being a bookseller is more than dealing with customers and that’s what appeals to me. I get to touch books that people have not read yet, get the jump on newly published books before the masses consume them all. I get to smell that lovely books smell and cut my fingers on pages fresh of the presses. I get to help customers and see their faces light up when I place “that one book” in their hands that they’ve been looking for and are anxious to read (even if that book is the Satanic Bible or Mein Kampf).
I get to play Tetris with the shelves when we have too much back-stock. Like seriously the music plays in my head while I’m shelving and feel accomplished when I’ve cleared carts or cleaned up an area. Then at lunch, I sit and read…or take a nap depending on how my anxiety is treating me and by the end of the day, yes, I’m so exhausted that I have resting bitch face, but I’m also feeling like I did something and when I come home…I get back to work writing and reading…or sleeping
The point is, no one enjoys working in retail…but that’s not what I do and that’s how I think about it. When you focus on the wrong parts of what you do, you end up hating a fairly reasonable job. I know this isn’t true for all retail workers — wouldn’t dare work at WalMart again. But for being a bookseller, there is a lovely camaraderie between you and your coworkers even if you’re not the most sociable in the world.
But most of all, I’ve decided to love what I do and make the best of it because where else would I get to work around books accept for a library and geek talk with my coworkers until closing time, or meet the most interesting people reading the most interesting books. Bookstores are a place of magic if you let them be.
Don’t get me wrong, bookselling is still a retail job, but there’s definitely a sort of gratification that you don’t get in other places. I do wish it was a bit more romantic to work around books as the movies make it seem but we live in real life so…
Anyway, uninspired isn’t exactly accurate but I couldn’t think of a better word. A+ writer right there. I have a lot of ideas, lots of plots, lots of rogue characters without stories floating around my head and it generally puts me at a point of paralysis. I can’t quite write anything coherent right now. Except for that short story that won’t end…still don’t know where that’s going.
As for blog updates, I’ll try not to have so much radio silence. I have plenty of ideas just no real organization to them. I know there are ways to get organized but I don’t work well under plans and schedules and things — gives me hives. However, I will take a little more responsibility with my blogging because its just something I want and I’m very particular when it comes to those sort of things.
So I’m off to work…in retail…in a bookstore. My optimism shall be tested and I shall know its mettle.