My Heart is Legion… (Camp Nanowrimo 2017)

“They’re watching a relationship you never see on TV because television stopped being black and white in the ‘60s but the shows never did…”

-People Watching…

I’m not sure how many of you read my About page or care to, but for the sake of argument, let’s say you have. You’ll notice how its carefully crafted to tell you exactly who I am and what I’m doing but its also obviously and purposely excluding details. I’ve never been quite sure whether I wanted to disclose much about who I personally am to this particular platform and while my schizoaffective disorder is not something I particularly hold back as it is a large part of my creativity. I found myself hesitant on the topic of love…

And I ask myself why?

I don’t have a good reason.

My love is very much a part of my creativity and inspiration.

So, let’s explore the Squid and their heart…

-breathes in deep and smiles-

Welcome to the Cerebral Hedonist… and here comes a thought.

Poly Badge

So…

I am Pansexual and Polyamorous Continue reading

Your Monster is Stupid! (Camp Nanowrimo 2017)

“Your monster isn’t really scary…”

That’s… that’s not the point…

“Omg, they’re like Twelve and Fifteen! Their interaction is really inappropriate.”

They’re just… looking at each other…

“So basically its Slender Man…”

Oh yeah definitely except like not

“They’re kids! They shouldn’t even be in situations like this”

….. umm yeah, we know. That’s… I…. okay….

“So you’re trying to Lovecraft?”

I’m trying to die actually… is it working yet?

“See, this is problematic. It supports the white savior trope.”

-slow blink- uuuh…

“Your monster is stupid!”

…. for real…?

“Its just criticism. You gotta learn to accept it.”

-sips coffee-

Welcome to the Cerebral Hedonist… and here comes a thought…

or whatever you’re going to freely interpret it as…

Criticism!!!!

Continue reading

Sparkle Forgiven – or How I Learned to Stop Hating Twilight (Camp Nanowrimo 2017)

 

I hate you!

I hate you!

I hate you!

OMG WHY DO YOU EXIST YOU LITERAL PIECE OF….

…..

………..

-sighs-

I forgive you…

Welcome to the Cerebral Hedonist… and we’re finally having this thought…

twilight-saga-poster

…. yup…

-sips coffee- piece of…

Nope, made my peace with this.

I had just started my long-lasting, abusive relationship with retail when Twilight suddenly announced a movie. Now, strangely enough, I was a bit excited…

Scary right.

Well,  it’s not what you think.

I first read Twilight when I was going through a traumatizing time in a physical therapy unit while I was in the army. I was depressed and stuck and that was a whole other issue. But we were allowed to read…

One of my platoon had just started New Moon and was eager to give me the book to cheer me up. I was writing a random romance for escapism purposes and allowed her to read it — thus she suggested that Twilight would make me feel better. And it did. It wasn’t necessarily the greatest work of literature I’d ever read, but it is a phenomenon for a reason. It did exactly what it was supposed to… it entertained.

I read through Twilight and quite literally was alright with Edward’s behavior — it was generally no different than the behavior of the male love interest in any other dime store paperback romance I’d read before. Which is problematic in itself but I’m not here to unpack that… Leave that rant in the box please and thank you.

Bella was, in general, like most protagonists I’d read in teen and even adult romances. Stiff, dull, contemporary… average. So I didn’t allow that to color my criticism because who cared, it was just a high school romance dressed up in vampires and shit… that… you know… sparkled.

still have no idea what that sparkle was for. Like, Guy steps into the sun with sparkling abs and wants me to believe he’s a monster. Yeah okay…

But the point is, I enjoyed it. It was a fun, quick read that pulled me out of a funk and I appreciated for that. I wanted to read the others and I found myself becoming a quite placid fan sitting in the background reading the book. Of course, it would never be good enough to have an open discussion about for me. It’s prose were simplistic and you could tell the author had never really… done anything before if that makes sense. It was like reading a first draft basically and I never judged it too harshly… until… Continue reading

Are You Keeping a Crawling Eye on the Print Industry? A Bookseller’s Lament

As a Writer and Reader and a lover of words that stay please by all means read these to understand why you can’t give up on the feel of a book in your hand.

Zombie Salmon (the Horror Continues)

Complacency. This is what – if anything – will kill print.

People who leave it up to other people to purchase books in hard copy, to frequent brick and mortar stores of any product while patting themselves on the back for “saving” money need to wise up. The entire retail landscape is under fire. You now have to drive further, pay more, and find less for any product – including books.

This is not a “sign of the times.” It is an orchestrated effort to rearrange the retail market into a handful of distribution outlets that feed the pockets of wealthy individuals whose ideas of enlightenment include the replacement of workers with robots because “they never get sick” and “they never take vacations,” as well as the ultimate privilege of determining not only what the public will want to have access to, but what they will be allowed to have…

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Are You Not Entertained! (Camp Nanowrimo 2017)

The hour is late…

I am only at 1.5k and need to hit at least 9k by midnight to catch up on what I’ve lost…

30-day challenge… one blog a day… challenge…

Easy so far, yet suddenly I’m in the coliseum and that fucker called Results is not pleased. His thumb is poised to raise the cage gate on my insecurities and short comings and…

FUCK!

Welcome to the Cerebral Hedonist… Here comes a fucking thought…

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Jaded Author: Bring it motherfucker…

 

Writer’s Block…

The dirtiest word in the book that makes hearts seize and months — even years of world building go up in flames both figuratively and often literally!

Yet, here I am on the fifth day of my challenge in which all of my thoughts, ideas, and literal fucking entire universes are pressed against my frontal lobe like a blood clot that will either be bled or kill me — either way it will find its release. So as creativity bleeds out of my nose and the droplets spill on the paper just as bright red as they would on the killing floor, I am writing.

And here comes you… Continue reading