Your Monster is Stupid! (Camp Nanowrimo 2017)

“Your monster isn’t really scary…”

That’s… that’s not the point…

“Omg, they’re like Twelve and Fifteen! Their interaction is really inappropriate.”

They’re just… looking at each other…

“So basically its Slender Man…”

Oh yeah definitely except like not

“They’re kids! They shouldn’t even be in situations like this”

….. umm yeah, we know. That’s… I…. okay….

“So you’re trying to Lovecraft?”

I’m trying to die actually… is it working yet?

“See, this is problematic. It supports the white savior trope.”

-slow blink- uuuh…

“Your monster is stupid!”

…. for real…?

“Its just criticism. You gotta learn to accept it.”

-sips coffee-

Welcome to the Cerebral Hedonist… and here comes a thought…

or whatever you’re going to freely interpret it as…

Criticism!!!!

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Sparkle Forgiven – or How I Learned to Stop Hating Twilight (Camp Nanowrimo 2017)

 

I hate you!

I hate you!

I hate you!

OMG WHY DO YOU EXIST YOU LITERAL PIECE OF….

…..

………..

-sighs-

I forgive you…

Welcome to the Cerebral Hedonist… and we’re finally having this thought…

twilight-saga-poster

…. yup…

-sips coffee- piece of…

Nope, made my peace with this.

I had just started my long-lasting, abusive relationship with retail when Twilight suddenly announced a movie. Now, strangely enough, I was a bit excited…

Scary right.

Well,  it’s not what you think.

I first read Twilight when I was going through a traumatizing time in a physical therapy unit while I was in the army. I was depressed and stuck and that was a whole other issue. But we were allowed to read…

One of my platoon had just started New Moon and was eager to give me the book to cheer me up. I was writing a random romance for escapism purposes and allowed her to read it — thus she suggested that Twilight would make me feel better. And it did. It wasn’t necessarily the greatest work of literature I’d ever read, but it is a phenomenon for a reason. It did exactly what it was supposed to… it entertained.

I read through Twilight and quite literally was alright with Edward’s behavior — it was generally no different than the behavior of the male love interest in any other dime store paperback romance I’d read before. Which is problematic in itself but I’m not here to unpack that… Leave that rant in the box please and thank you.

Bella was, in general, like most protagonists I’d read in teen and even adult romances. Stiff, dull, contemporary… average. So I didn’t allow that to color my criticism because who cared, it was just a high school romance dressed up in vampires and shit… that… you know… sparkled.

still have no idea what that sparkle was for. Like, Guy steps into the sun with sparkling abs and wants me to believe he’s a monster. Yeah okay…

But the point is, I enjoyed it. It was a fun, quick read that pulled me out of a funk and I appreciated for that. I wanted to read the others and I found myself becoming a quite placid fan sitting in the background reading the book. Of course, it would never be good enough to have an open discussion about for me. It’s prose were simplistic and you could tell the author had never really… done anything before if that makes sense. It was like reading a first draft basically and I never judged it too harshly… until… Continue reading

Are You Not Entertained! (Camp Nanowrimo 2017)

The hour is late…

I am only at 1.5k and need to hit at least 9k by midnight to catch up on what I’ve lost…

30-day challenge… one blog a day… challenge…

Easy so far, yet suddenly I’m in the coliseum and that fucker called Results is not pleased. His thumb is poised to raise the cage gate on my insecurities and short comings and…

FUCK!

Welcome to the Cerebral Hedonist… Here comes a fucking thought…

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Jaded Author: Bring it motherfucker…

 

Writer’s Block…

The dirtiest word in the book that makes hearts seize and months — even years of world building go up in flames both figuratively and often literally!

Yet, here I am on the fifth day of my challenge in which all of my thoughts, ideas, and literal fucking entire universes are pressed against my frontal lobe like a blood clot that will either be bled or kill me — either way it will find its release. So as creativity bleeds out of my nose and the droplets spill on the paper just as bright red as they would on the killing floor, I am writing.

And here comes you… Continue reading

Growing Towards the Sky (Camp Nanowrimo 2017)

In a world where connection is the true currency of our lives…

Who am I?

Where did I come from?

And how can I reach you…?

Welcome to the Cerebral Hedonist… and here comes a thought…

Love by Alexander Milov

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Embrace. Nothing. Stop. (Camp Nanowrimo 2017)

As I read through the critiques on my group from my writing group, I found a comment on the numbing experience of anesthesia and in passing commented on my experience with the feeling. Well, I have never been under anesthesia, however this excerpt:

It passed over her body like a comforting caress to her muddled mind and eased her into numbness.

Embraced.

That’s what it felt like.

Fleeting.

Fading…

Don’t go…

— Transient by Harli V. Park

— comes from a true life experience.

It is a little-known fact about me that this is actually my second life in this body. I have technically (or would that be medically) died once in this life and it is literally my very first negative experience in my life.

The circumstance doesn’t matter. The how and why are trivial at this point.

After all… it was the feeling that stayed.

Welcome to the Cerebral Hedonist’s Nightmare… and here comes a triggering thought…

…on drowning…

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